Happy Birthday-to Everyone
I’ve just spent the last 15 minutes having an emotional meltdown. After spending an hour putting my heart and soul into an article I was going to post on my blog, my words disappeared. All my effort and thoughts have somehow been deleted and I can’t get them back. I want to weep and cry and throw a fit and give up. I want to curse the Gods at how unfair it is that this has happened, and have them give me back my vanished article. I don’t want to have to do this all again. I keep thinking about what I did to deserve having this happen to me. And the answer is….nothing.
Sometimes stuff just happens. Like being born into a family where the parents aren’t quite capable of love. Which was what I was writing about. I was writing about babies. And how when they are born, they are beautiful, and innocent and so completely lovable and sweet- miracles each of them, to the core. You, me- we were all back at that place once, brought into the world with everything being a blank slate…depending on the adults around us to fulfill our needs, guide our way and show us how lovable we are. But some of us didn’t get shown that. Not all babies get what they deserve when they come into this world – because this world can be unfair, and crap happens, and adults don’t have their stuff together. Just like the web doesn’t always have its stuff together.
And THAT has nothing to do with me or you. Just like it has nothing to do with you, if you have parents that don’t know how to love you enough. That’s to do with your parent’s own limited capabilities. And nothing to do with your worthiness or lovability. In my capacity as a therapist, I’ve met and gotten to know thousands of people. And a theme that has always resonated throughout my getting to know people is that I can see how amazingly lovable they are, but convincing them of that, is really, really hard. I wish it wasn’t. I wish I could wave a magic wand and all of you who I have met would just get what makes you so amazing and unique. Your hilarious stories. Your incredibly caring nature. Your crazy smile that lights up a room. Your ability to keep going forward no matter what. Your charm. Your smarts. Your crazy quirks. Your strength. Your love for people or animals. Your weaknesses and fallibility.
I wish for all of you, all that I have met, in whatever capacity… that you will realize that you are completely lovable and worthy just like you were on the day you were born. Yes, life has knocked you upside the head and attempted to convince you otherwise, kinda like the web tried to do with me tonight. Don’t take it personally when someone can’t love you enough the way you are, it’s to do with their capacities…not yours…unless you are bully or an ax murderer…then yes, that’s your own stuff that you need to work on. And now, I’ll tell you a secret. Somebody out there somewhere loves you even if you don’t know it, or aren’t ready to feel it. Somebody holds you in their heart and cherishes you just like you were cherished on your very first day coming to earth. It’s okay if you don’t feel it back for them, but don’t diminish or dismiss that feeling of being loved.
Because that’s what you deserve, that’s what you were born for and just because your parents or somebody else couldn’t give it to you, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. It just means it was a little later in coming. Happy Birthday, whatever day you were born. And yes, you are loved.